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Why do i think sex is such a big deal? i have just turned 19 and i'm still a virgin. i didnt have much boy attention when i was younger. and i thought sex isnt a big deal, so if i ever like a guy and he likes me, i see no harm in losing my virginity easily. now, though, ive been seeing this 21 year old guy for 3 and a half months. and he is very sexual, we have done a lot of sexual acts, and he's very kinky, and enjoys tying me up and geting tied up and being gagged. he's suggested weirder and extremely bizarre stuff which i had to say no too. part of me really wants sex, my hormones go crazy at times, and we both get turned on, but i have to stop myself. i honestly am unsure why i dont trust him. i keep thinking he's only after sex. i find it hard to believe he could know me well enough or love me. he says he loves me, and that i mean the world to him. he wouldnt know what to do without me. but im scared he is just waiting for sex and as soon as he gets it he has 'conquered me' or will move on, or treat me as a sex object. i only see him a few hours a week now as im at university. he says he will wait for me, and that he respects me, but i'm not even sure i see a long future for us, even though i do like him a lot, and miss him so much when we are apart. maybe i just miss the attention he pays me. and i wont find anyone else who will treat me as good as he does. i have to lose my virginity sometime, how do i know the time is right? | You should never give up your virginity to just give it up. If you don't trust him, don't have sex with him. It should be with someone you trust and love.
Hope this helps! | Why do i think sex is such a big deal? i have just turned 19 and i'm still a virgin. i didnt have much boy attention when i was younger. and i thought sex isnt a big deal, so if i ever like a guy and he likes me, i see no harm in losing my virginity easily. now, though, ive been seeing this 21 year old guy for 3 and a half months. and he is very sexual, we have done a lot of sexual acts, and he's very kinky, and enjoys tying me up and geting tied up and being gagged. he's suggested weirder and extremely bizarre stuff which i had to say no too. part of me really wants sex, my hormones go crazy at times, and we both get turned on, but i have to stop myself. i honestly am unsure why i dont trust him. i keep thinking he's only after sex. i find it hard to believe he could know me well enough or love me. he says he loves me, and that i mean the world to him. he wouldnt know what to do without me. but im scared he is just waiting for sex and as soon as he gets it he has 'conquered me' or will move on, or treat me as a sex object. i only see him a few hours a week now as im at university. he says he will wait for me, and that he respects me, but i'm not even sure i see a long future for us, even though i do like him a lot, and miss him so much when we are apart. maybe i just miss the attention he pays me. and i wont find anyone else who will treat me as good as he does. i have to lose my virginity sometime, how do i know the time is right? | Personally to me.... The idea of virginity is focused on completely incorrectly. As you have stated it... "I have to lose my virginity sometime." This sentence shows the problematic point of view that has caused this concern for you, and many before you, and many to come after you. Here, virginity is a stigma to lose. Something I must throw away, and getting rid of it is a huge milestone, The "Giant leap [for mankind]" that signifies a passage. And while this is mostly true, how you approach this causes the friction and anxiety you feel.
To me, Virginity is not something to be lost. It is a gift. This is one of the most precious gifts you have as a human being. While the act of sex itself is purely physical and has been the basis of all life as we know it. Our perception, sensations, and feelings during this time are paramount to the experience. I gave my virginity to a woman I loved for 2 years. As compatible as we were, as in tune to each others feelings, I gave her my virginity and she gave me hers. In truth, the first time we had sex was definitely not the most pleasurable. I hand a hard time fitting in her, I wasn't very smooth and graceful, and I'm pretty sure neither of us climaxed. But that didn't matter, because the sensations of being together and being as close as 2 humans can be was far more powerful still than some of the sex we had later.
Now your situation might not be quite as ideal as mine was. It sounds like your concerns that your boyfriend will move on etc. are credible at the least. And it's possible that he's not a virgin, so you may feel the moment is sullied because he has already "lost" his virginity. At any rate, I can't determine all the complexities of your relationship. But I will state one last piece of wisdom. Regardless of whatever you do, however you look at it, This will be a memory you WILL keep for your whole life. Even if you are no longer with the person, ( as is the case with me, I haven't seen my ex for a year) make it a memory that you relish and enjoy. A memory that you can reflect on as a significant moment in your life. | Anyone else dislike the "macho" culture? There seems to be a societal expectation that men should fit into some sort of a "macho" role, but I find it really bizarre at best and horrible at worst. The mentality seems really inconsiderate of women and views them exclusively as sex objects, which is the opposite of how I treat my female friends and women I have dated.
Am I the only person who thinks the world would be a better place without the macho mentality? | | I agree with you. | Why is porn legal when it degrades women and damages men's minds? It hurts the parents deeply of the women who sell their bodies for money (prostitution), it damages men's minds to only see women as sex objects resulting in a dependency for viewing ever increasing bizarre/ sickening sexual practices (addiction/ depravity) it isolates people from the need of the opposite sex since porn is a substitute for human sexual interaction, it results in disease for lots of the women involved, lots more kill themselves, it makes sex outside of marriage normal and increases abortion rates (murder of unborn guyren), the women involved end up having emotional problems after they leave, why are sleazy old men allowed to make money pushing depravity, addiction and poor morals? | | This is my question, if prostitution is illegal, then why isn't porn illegal? in prostitution, its done in the privacy of someones home, but porn seems worse because you are making money for people to watch it, and minors watch it. | Odd question...what to do about a husband that can't objectify you? This is going to sound completely bizarre, but my husband has problems objectifying me and this has hurt our sex life. Basically, he was brought up with a very strong mother and taught very well on how to respect women. This in itself is not a problem, but because of this he has a hard time seeing women just as sexual objects. So now you are asking yourself: why is she complaining?! I want a guy like that! Well, it's not all peaches and cream. Sometimes it would be very nice if he was able to see me as a purely sexual object and want to ravish me. Get it? So any suggestions on how to help him get over the respect and get to a point where he can not only love me and see me as the person I am, but also see me as a sex object once in awhile? | | Have you tried laces and baby dolls? Hmm, I really don't know. Blind fold him, use candles and inscense. You will have to work hard on that one to get him in the mood and let go. But I bet it is lurking in him, good luck! | I can't trust my boyfriend.? Help i can't trust my boyfriend, i've always had trust problems since my mum cheated on my dad before.
In april my dad was arrested on suspicion of murder and rape, it was very traumatic. In the evening he was let back home as the dna evidence proved he hadnt did it.
In july this year when i found out my boyfriend had been watching porn, i was really upset. Its been 4 months now and i still can't trust him! Its really upsetting me and getting me down.
I didn't used to have anything against porn but now it really hurts me. He keeps assuring me he doesnt watch it anymore but i just cant believe him. what should i do?
reasons why porn is also wrong.
1. Pornography helps men view women as mere sex objects.
2. Pornography lowers moral values in individuals and society resulting in the acceptability and/or legalization of prostitution, fornication, adultery, and other sexual perversions.
3. Pornography creates unrealistic expectations of sex and sexual practices that spouses may be unable or unwilling to fulfill.
4. Pornography isolates sexual fulfillment from a caring relationship with another human being, rendering it essentially selfish.
5. Pornography exploits young women's naiveté and need for money, prostituting images of their bodies to fulfill men's lusts.
6. Pornography is linked to crimes of rape, incest, and sexual abuse of guyren.
7. The pornographic industry is increasingly controlled by organized crime.
8. Pornography can become psychologically addictive, leading many men to crave more and more bizarre sexual fantasies to stimulate them. | Although i understand your hatred for porn, it is a fact that nearly every man, boy, will have watched porn at sometime in their lives. Like anything else in this world, just because a guy cheats on you does not mean all guys will cheat on you. He is willing to give up looking at porn as he does not want to lose you. Thats a positive. You should only worry if he prefers watching that stuff rather than being with you or it becomes part of his life.
The point you make about what porn does to people, well they are people who are looking for something extreme in there lives and are prob unstable b4 they watch it anyway. I have and still am in love and I have watched porn and she knows. Point is, she comes first and everything else in life is just an add on. Sounds like he has the same view.
Alternative is you find someone who has never and never will look at porn. Good luck with that one!!! | Bizarre mental illness? What do these symptoms sound like:
-Overly emotional mood swings (so happy that random laughter is frequent, but then so sad that crying seems pointless, within a day.)
-Insecure around some parties, but when in a good mood, a sense of superiority
-Depression, hopelessness, craving to give up goals
-Desperate desire to paint, write, and create to leave a sense of self in the world
-Awkwardness, physically. unusual movements, eccentric facial expressions
-Deep, obsessive attachment to the past
-Every so often, random, irrational fears of God, the devil, mind controlling illuminati, sicknesses, etc. Not all the time. Very aware that these things are irrational afterward, but still a huge fear. These fears are not random mostly, but are often brought on by casually hearing about them, and then increase with intense research of subject.
-Random odd moods of attributing emotion to inanimate objects, seeing colors that aren't there, lying
-lack of focus, attention problems, lack of sleep, strange sleeping patterns
-loss of friendship, fear of future
-talking to oneself as if it were a separate person that you created. (but aware that the person isn't real, and very aware that the person is inside your head, but you still mumble out loud, like a coping mechanism. The person inside doesn't usually say much, just makes slight comments, but occasionally is sarcastic or sardonic.)
-Obsessive compulsive tendencies
-Paranoia that everyone is talking/taunting them, dazed staring, feelings of detachment
-Racing thoughts, headaches because of so much deep contemplation
-History of oddness, social awkwardness, shyness, same-sex attraction, and paranoia.
-Mother with possible bipolar disorder (believes she has powers sometimesm but isn't particularly insane) and uncle with unknown mental disorder
These symptoms are not constant, but increase with stress/sadness and usually calm down a bit with sleep. The symptoms do not detract from the intelligence of the person, but they cause a lack of interest in work/school at times, but at other times, increased interest in it to the point of being obsessive.
What does it sound like?? These symptoms aren't as bad as I'm making them sound, but they are still present, and I am very aware that they are not normal and are there. They aren't as bad as they seem mostly, but I worry they will get worse or become uncontrollable. Am I just exaggerating things? | I'm no expert, but I know from my husband's experiences that bipolar can potentially be hereditary as his mother is bipolar and he's the only one of his brothers that has it.
Based on what you described and what I have observed in my husband and his mental health treatments, it sounds like you may also be manic/depressive and you might possibly have panic attacks. The social anxiety would probably be considered agoraphobia. | What is your opinion of rebound sex? Good way to stop thinking about the ex and get out your frustrations? Or bad idea?
I'm a very sexual person, but not the most sexually experienced person...sounds bizarre, but I semi recently entered the point in my life where well, there is a lot to be had, and well, honestly, I've become an object of desire much more so than previously in my life. Casual sex would be a new thing for me, part of me thinks that its the best thing for me right now (that sounds terrible, I know) but its so foriegn to me personally that I'm not entirely sure whether its right. I was always someone who critisized people who tried to F their exs away, but now, after having a ridiculously ridiculous break-up (there is no other way to phrase it) that technically ended three months ago but the nail didn't go into the coffin, so to speak until the end of December, I'm not so sure. I'd just like to get some opinions on it from the people who've been there done that. | | there is nothing wrong with casual sex, if you an adult, bed as many people as you want, ****! I wish there were more women like you. | I am 15 and an aspiring thriller writer. Could you rate my story? I think it's quite good? ‘‘Have a nice day, Aunt Cheryl,’’ Melanie said, a piece of toast in her hand, walking out the front door.
She noticed a large box on the porch. It was wrapped in a rather strange-looking paper, which bore a Victorian-looking pattern. Mel unwrapped it slowly and then opened the cardboard box.
‘‘A doll,’’ Mel whispered, holding the odd creature in her hands.
She noticed it was quite long and got up to compare her height with the doll’s. It was about the same height as her.
‘‘How strange…’’ She thought.
She went back in and placed it on the sofa.
She then ran to school. That day, she kept asking herself who had sent that odd package. She returned from school and was shocked to find the doll missing! Where was it?
‘‘Aunt Cheryl,’’ She asked her aunt with whom she had been living for about a year. ‘‘Where did you hide the doll I found this morning?’’
‘‘The… doll?’’ Cheryl asked, raising an eyebrow. ‘‘I haven’t seen a doll…’’
Later that night, Mel sat at her computer and researched paranormal phenomena. Judging from the Victorian-looking paper, she figured it was a cursed doll from the 1800s. Suddenly, she heard a scream coming from Aunt Cheryl’s room. She got up as quickly as she could and ran into the hall.
‘‘I’m coming, Cheryl!’’
She arrived in front of her aunt’s bedroom door and the woman ran out of it, covered in what appeared to be… blood.
‘‘Don’t go in there, Mel,’’ The woman gasped, running towards the bathroom.
Having always been a curious girl, Melanie couldn’t help but to walk into the… forbidden room… There was broken glass on the floor… And… On the bed, the doll seemed to be starring at her.
‘‘Oh, my,’’ Melanie cried.
After Cheryl had told her everything was fine and that there was no doll in the house, although she had seen it twice now, Melanie was fast asleep. At around midnight, she heard a loud noise, which awakened her. It came from Cheryl’s room! She, again, ran to it, hoping her aunt was all right. She pushed the door opened and… The doll was on top of Cheryl and Cheryl was screaming! It was hurting her!
‘‘I’ll save you, Aunt Cheryl!’’
She grabbed a strange wall piece Cheryl had hung, which was a bizarre dry branch, and began hitting the doll with it. She noticed a puzzled look on Cheryl’s face.
‘‘Melanie, for the love of…’’ Cheryl said, pushing her niece off the bed.
The aunt sighed.
‘‘I guess it’s time for me to explain everything to you…’’
She sighed again.
‘‘As you know, your uncle is away on a business trip and sometimes, a woman gets… well… has needs… Some use objects… Dolls.’’
Melanie didn’t quite understand.
‘‘I was pleasuring myself with the doll, which I bought at a sex shop.’’
She pointed the Victorian-looking paper.
‘‘It’s from a sex shop called ‘We make you *** old-fashion-way’ and they have many Victorian-looking revealing costumes and objects…’’
‘‘But I saw blood,’’ Mel said.
‘‘Red wine, actually,’’ Cheryl explained. ‘‘Had you stayed in my room longer, you would have noticed the box of chocolates. I’ll explain you everything about romance when you’re older. Your running made me jumped a little and I dropped the bottle, which splashed all over me.’’
She winked, adding:
‘‘Now, let’s get you in bed.’’ | I'm refusing to read it. PLEASE take it down off of this website. A question titled 'I wanna write story. Any good Ideas?' Pops up every five minutes. That means that there are people who are so desperate for ideas they will steal other peoples.
Good luck with your novel. I'll read it when it's on the shelves :D | Issue regarding my inlaws? I am trying to find a logical explanation for my in laws irrational, bizarre behavior. The mother seems to suffer from moderate dementia, and shows traits of borderline personality disorder. The father shows signs of Borderline Personality Disorder, and severe depression. I feel that all members of the direct biologics have been affected with BPD(borderline personality disorder), 3 siblings have known addiction problems, all siblings show unstable emotional behavior, fear of abandonment, poor judgement, and lack of planning and organization. Problems seem to persist in this family due to lack of confrontation, their method of dealing with issues is simply to avoid them. I am concerned about the well being of my guy, and my fiance's son while in the supervision of these people. How can i get some closure on this issue and not overly offend anyone?
Dementia - Symptoms
Having difficulty recalling recent events.
Not recognizing familiar people and places.
Having trouble finding the right words to express thoughts or name objects.
Having difficulty performing calculations.
Having problems planning and carrying out tasks, such as balancing a checkbook, following a recipe, or writing a letter.
Having trouble exercising judgment, such as knowing what to do in an emergency.
Having difficulty controlling moods or behaviors. Depression is common, and agitation or aggression may occur.
Not keeping up personal care such as grooming or bathing.
Some types of dementia cause key symptoms:
People who have dementia with Lewy bodies often have highly detailed visual hallucinations. They may fall frequently.
The first symptoms of frontotemporal dementia may be personality changes or unusual behavior. People with this condition may not express any caring for others, or they may say rude things, expose themselves, or make sexually explicit comments.
Symptoms of dementia that come on suddenly suggest vascular dementia or possibly delirium-short-term confusion caused by a new or worsening illness.
| | --------… PERSONALITY DISORDER
Borderline Personality Disorder - Symptoms
A person with borderline personality disorder often has unstable relationships, low self-esteem, and problems with impulsive behavior, all of which begin by early adulthood.
A common feature of this disorder is fear of being left alone (abandoned), even if the threat of being abandoned is not real. This fear may lead to frantic attempts to hold on to those around you and may cause you to become too dependent on others. Sometimes you may react to the fear of being abandoned by rejecting others first before they can reject you. This erratic behavior can lead to troubled relationships in every area of your life.
People who are diagnosed with borderline personality disorder have at least five of the following symptoms. They may:1
Make frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
Have a pattern of difficult relationships caused by alternating between extremes of intense admiration and hatred of others.
Have an unstable self-image or be unsure of his or her own identity.
Act impulsively in ways that are self-damaging, such as extravagant spending, frequent and unprotected sex with many partners, substance abuse, binge eating, or reckless driving.
Have recurring suicidal thoughts, make repeated suicide attempts, or cause self-injury through mutilation, such as cutting or burning himself or herself.
Have frequent emotional overreactions or intense mood swings, including feeling depressed, irritable, or anxious. These mood swings usually only last a few hours at a time. In rare cases, they may last a day or two.
Have long-term feelings of emptiness.
Have inappropriate, fierce anger or problems controlling anger. The person may often display temper tantrums or get into physical fights.
Have temporary episodes of feeling suspicious of others without reason (paranoia) or losing a sense of reality.
Not everyone who has five or more of these symptoms is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. For a person to be diagnosed with any personality disorder, the symptoms must be severe and must go on long enough to cause significant emotional distress or problems functioning in relationships or at work.1
You may have temporary episodes of psychosis (paranoia and a loss of a sense of reality) with borderline personality disorder, especially when you are going through a personal crisis. This psychosis usually does not last very long. But if it continues, your doctor may consider another condition, such as schizophrenia.
Symptoms of borderline personality disorder are not caused by another medical condition or by medicines. And they are not a result of long-term substance abuse problems. Borderline personality disorder may be confused with other conditions with similar symptoms, such as other per | | Now who was the crazy ones? |
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