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All Comments
| Why are some bi male swingers so pushy about their sexuality? My wife and I have been swingers now for about 6 months the only problem I have is a few of the couples we have met online the male is bisexual and constantly telling me in emails that if I try it I will like it when I tell them it does not interest me they say I am homophobic what can I do to make them understand this is not for me and why cant they accept and respect my views? |
| In the wonderful world of swinging just as in society in general, bi and straight males seem to butt heads (no pun intended lol) The best advice I can give you is to continue to state your views and avoid any negative confrontation. Swinging is about freedom of expression and sexuality not about convincing or persuading. Simply make your desires known and move past those who can't or wont understand. GOOD LUCK! Ginni |
| I'm am bi curious and would like to join a swingers group..How do I find a safe environment in NYC Does anyone know of a safe "Swingers" group in NYC for me and my fiance? I am female by the way |
| My wife (bi) and I have found SLS to be the best website there is out there. www.swinglifestyle.com |
| My wife and I are considering going to a swingers club she is bi-curious and that turns me on as well? We've been married for over 20 years we watch porn together and she likes girl girl, we may go there and just watch, dose any have an opinion on this matter or have a similar experience. |
| A first visit to a swingers club - like any new experience can be daunting. Typical feelings include excitement, a fear of the unknown and worries about sexual adequacy or appearance. These feelings are completely normal, we all experience them to some degree and even experienced swingers may experience these feelings when visitng a new club. The good news is: the swingers community is very friendly, forgiving and open. The first step you'll need to take is deciding on the type of club you would like to visit. There are may different "specialty" clubs, but in the mainstream swinging community, the clubs fall into two categories: * On Premise Clubs * Off Premises Clubs The difference between the two is that an on-premises club provides areas specifically set aside for sexual play, while an off-premises club does not. Locating A Club There many methods available to finding the specific club you would like to visit. The best method is a recommendation from friends, but if you are like us, you don't know any swingers, and that is one reason you would like to visit a club! If so, the simplest way to locate a club in your area is probably via the internet, in fact, The Swinger Source (www.theswingersource.com)has a state-by-state listing available. Another method is to purchase a "lifestyle-oriented" magazine such as Lifestyle Magazine, they typically provide a list of clubs as well. Once you have decided on a club, visit their website if they have one, and take a look around, most sites at a minimum list their hours, special events and contact information. Make use of the contact information provided. Contact the club management to verify the hours, events, membership and door fees, etc. The Big Moment What should you wear? The answer to this depends on several factors. In general, wear what you would wear on a first date to a night club. No excessively baggy or torn jeans, no tee-shirts, leave your baseball cap at home. Ladies, this is your chance to break out that super-sexy little black dress and sexy new shoes you've been wanting to wear! If the club is having a special event that night, consider taking part! Most special events involve a theme ranging from toga parties, to wet tee-shirt contests, to hot schoolgirl night. These are great ice-brakers and I truly encourage you to take part. Many people bring a change of "play clothes" that they change into when the mood hits. What should we bring? Most clubs are BYOB, so be sure to bring your favorite beverage. In general your hosts will provide you with finger foods, sodas and snacks. You should definitely bring an "essentials kit" with you, if you need some ideas for what to include in this kit, please read through our article on creating the perfect essentials kit. Most clubs provide lockers for your personal belongings, and I recommend that you bring your own combination padlock although some clubs will loan or rent you one. What should we say? Remember, the people you meet at this club will likely surprise you by how open and friendly they are. so say "Hello!". People have many approaches to starting a conversation in a club, my personal method is to shake hands and introduce myself and my wife. I've had people walk up to me and say everything from "Hi, what are you looking for?' to "Do you have a tatoo?" (during a scavenger hunt event). What you say isn't nearly as important as how you say it, and your body language when you say it! Smile! If you want someone to approach you, look friendly and like you are having fun. What should we do? The short answer to this is: whatever you and your partner are comfortable with. Chances are, on your first visit to a club, you will feel somewhat intimidated. When my wife and I visited the first time, we spent most of our time asking questions about etiquette, rules, and who was who. If you decide to play, be sure you stay within your rules, and have fun! Typically when you visit a club for the first time, the club management will have either a staff member or a trusted club member show you around. This is a great opportunity to find out about the rules of that particular club, what the etiquette of the rooms is, who you should get in touch with regarding any questions or concerns you may have and where to go. Conclusion Visiting a swingers club is a wonderful way to spice up a relationship - even if you only play with your partner. Approach it with a non-judgemental attitude and no expectations and you wil have a great time. If you make the effort to be presentable, open, friendly and happy, you will make great, lifelong friends, and that makes the visit worthwhile in itself. |
| Should I feel bad for being in a Swingers Club? So my wife and I are swingers. We belong in a very small, elite, and private Swingers Club. All the women must only have sexual relations with other women and men are only able to have sexual relations with women. This swingers club enable wives with bi-curiousity to explore their sexual curiousness and fantasies. All the members are pre-screened for any STD's . Well, my wife loves watching me make love with two other women. Aren't I lucky or what? |
| To each their own. Its none of my business. But perhaps you should ask yourself why you are asking others if you should feel bad....or why you are rubbing your perceived "fortune" in the faces of internet strangers. Is your name intentionally in conflict with the question? |
| Do swinger couples sometimes share a D together when the 3rd is a bi guy? We are new to swinging and I want to orally share a D together with my husband. I think it would be hot doing it together as a couple. Yes, I know about his bi fantasies and am ok with it. We are one as a couple and are both secure with each other and our sexuality. So my question is, is it fairly common that a man and wife share a lollipop together :-) when in a swinger setting? |
| umm yea if all agree then who cares if it's common? Do whatever you want to do. |
| My hubby & I are swingers, I am bi he is straight....? Our #1 rule is always "play" together. He had a "threesome" without me with a couple we knew in the "lifestyle" he only had sex with her. What do I do, I don't know if I can ever trust him again, is this even forgivable? he told me only after i pried it out of him because I had my concerns (a womans intuition) we have been together for 11 years and married for 6 years in the "lifestyle' for 9 years and this has never happened. Help |
| Hi Big Bad Wolf, My wife and I have had a few threesomes in our twenty years of marriage. Plus we have done a few threesome variations. However the frequency and the development of this activity never developed to the point I would call ourselves swingers or "being in the lifestyle." Nonetheless by having a few experiences I can understand the issues here and hopefully I am some help here. The two of you have a boundary in which you only play together and it is a common boundary. Since you have not posted how your husband violated that boundary I am going to assume that the violation was an intentional or reckless violation. This means he knew that it was a violation and you had not given him "mixed signals" about if playing alone with the couple was allowed. My feeling the two of you need to take a break from swinging and talk about what happened. For the two of you it means working through what lead up to it, reviewing your boundaries as they stand, and trying to work out a solution. Once you have done an examination of what happened only then can the two of you reconsider if you want to return to swinging or if it is best that the practice ends. |
| How can you tell if someone is really bi? My cousin has went out with a girl before.She came up to me theone day at the drive in & said hey these girls just asked if I wanted to be their girlfriend, Isn't that gross. I just told her oh ok.Also I have heard a couple things from her brother about my cousin & her girlfriend.When I dropped hints about her being bi & that I knew she said she wasn't Then after awhile she did say she only dated her once orsomething like that.Now it passed for a couple years. & now she hasn't said to but on her myspace it says she is bi/swinger... Now how do you tell if she is bi? cause always seems to be with her boyfriend & I never see her with a girl except for once in awhile this girl comes over to visit.But how can I tell if she is really bi or what questions can I ask to find out if she really is bi?or if shes just confused? Shes 17 years old if ya want to know.I don't have anything againt people being bi or anything. It just seems odd cause shes my cousin lol but, Please help me out here |
| she might just be courious and not sure yet. you said shes only 17 so maybe she still needs time to find out for herself and if she is then maybe when shes ready to let you know she will, but dont push her it might make her retract |
| How can I tell if my "girl" friend is bi? I am married & bi. We've been hanging out with a couple that are pretty good friends of ours. We've made many jokes about swinging & sexual things. The girl even asked us jokingly if we were swingers. We really want something to happen with them & us, but don't want to say something that might ruin the friendship. I don't even know if she's into females. What is my best approach? |
| First, our motto is "It's easier to make friends out of swingers than swingers out of friends." That said, since you've already broached the subject of sex and swinging, what was her/their reaction? Was it negative, indifferent, air of curiosity? What I would do is simply ask her if that is something her and her husband have talked about. Let her know that no matter what her answer is you'll still be friends. Then just let the conversation take it's direction from there. |